Clearly I have been banging on about photography in here for the last few posts, and when I started this blog that certainly wasn't my intention.... I thought of it more as a place to vent my thoughts, because I tend to let them bubble up in my head until they spill out of my ears, and even a simple conversation becomes a tiresome affair with those who engage me.... I tend to flit from subject to subject and my attention span is about 3 and a half seconds.
So anyway, heres just a three of the things that have been buzzing around in my head.... I'm really sorry but they do.
1: "What is the worst that could happen?"...........
Um, I hear this said a lot, and to be honest I don't know why we say it. It focusses on the negative and even if we try to imagine the worst, I promise you it's no where near as bad as what could 'Actually' happen.....
F'rinstance, a bloke who worked as a maintenance engineer in a newspaper printing factory was asked to remove a jam in the machine. He thought to himself, I'll just pull it out without interrupting the process........ Go on, ask yourself, "whats the worst that could happen?"... What did you come up with? Injury? disciplinary? Death????
Let me tell you... He leaned over a safety barrier to remove the jammed paper, the barrier prevents people getting anywhere near the 40 foot wide ream of paper that is moving at 30 mph at waist height.... He slipped and the edge of the fast moving paper cut through the crotch of his overalls and put a 1 1/2 deep inch paper cut in his bell end... right across the japs eye!!! (men reading this will right now be sat cross legged, wincing and biting the backs of their hands) He needed 45 stitches and now has to stand sideways on to the toilet when having a pee just to hit the bowl.
So the next time you ask yourself "whats the worst that could happen?" remember this tale of a man who very nearly lost his.....tail.
2: Why is childrens TV so crap?
Yeah I know I'm gonna sound really old now so I shall apologise to my own kids in advance, but really, what has happened to kids TV? BTW my kids have watched all my dvd box sets but still insist that current childrens tv is much better.....so...
The only way I can think to settle this is all out war, I am assembling (in my head) an army, a fighting force so undeniably awesome that the modern childrens tv would not stand a chance. At the head of my army would be the supreme commander 'Bagpuss' who always thought of the right thing to do in a tight spot. The infantry would be a combination of He-Man, Thundercats, Terrahawks, She-Ra, The entire cast of Dungeons and Dragons, Transformers, everyone from Fraggle Rock and Dogtanian and the three Muskerhounds. Specialist units would be 'Intelligence' - Dangermouse, 'Operations' - Supergran, 'Internal Post' - Postman Pat (and I mean proper postman Pat.. Not the new crappy computer generated ginger tosspot'), 'Technology and Satellites' - Mr Spoon from Button Moon working in partnership with Inspector Gadget and finally 'Covert Operations' - Worzel Gummage.
So come on you young pretenders..... What can you bring to the table huh? Yeah I didn't think so!!!
BTW: Click on each of these links for a nice trip down memory lane:
Here Here Here Here Here Here Here Here Here and Here
3: Fatherhood!
I'm a Dad a Father and a Daddy, three very distinct sub-roles within one, my two kids are the most important things in my life, and I know that pretty much every parent reading this will feel exactly the same way in relation to their own children.... My own two suprise me, make me laugh and bring sunshine to my life every day. Recent changes in my life have meant that I may not have been as attentive as perhaps I normally would be, and I have to plan my days just to spend some quality time with them, but they are coping really well and they are still being so amazing.... So this bit was just to say to them:
Callum and Grace, I love you both, and thank you for making me so proud every day.
Now stop reading this waffle and go and hug your kids or tell them you love them or something m'kay?
Thanks for reading.... Now comment or I'll subconciously plant the Agadoo song in your head and IT WON'T GO AWAY FOR HOURS.
3 comments:
Re:point 1 - AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! oh jeez... I think I'm going to chunder... Otherwise, good post, and your right... Modern kids tv is shite compared to Thundercats et al.
More of the same please Matt,very entertaining read. Whilst I find your Mr Photographer persona very... appealing, oops I mean informative, it is this side of your mind that keeps me engaged. You are one of the most funniest and well informed people I know! ;)) Oh yeah, I agree on all of the above. And you are an ACE Dad btw, x
F, x
A voice of dissent... I like to say, 'What's the worse that could happen?' when the consequences of doing something aren't that bad and whomever I'm talking to needs to think it through and realise this and stop being a wuss. Although, I agree with what you are saying, I think there is more than one perspective. Also, I think Dr Who and Horrible Histories are two cases in point for good quality kids TV. But there is a fair amount of rubbish on as well. A good and thought provoking post. P.S. I think you're an awesome dad as well.
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